We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
