and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
