How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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