i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
