Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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