Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
