Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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