A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
