It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
