Sry I called you an 8
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
