Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
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im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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