this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You were trust falling into bushes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
