I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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