I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
