I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
