You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
