So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is Oprah even human
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
