I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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