That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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