New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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