Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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