I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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