Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.