that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
