having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
