Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
