I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How does one acquire holy water?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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