wat bout pragnant strippers??
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize