Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
