We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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