i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize