I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
