it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
