I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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