So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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