I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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