I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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