More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
