there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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