my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
