its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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