so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
