do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
