Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
this just has baby written all over it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
