with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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