i just google imaged poop.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize