I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's official drugs can't kill me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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