her vagine was all disorganized.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
