we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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