11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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