my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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