I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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