Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
