We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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