after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
