Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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