I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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