so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
