Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
