how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
