We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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