I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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