My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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