I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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